THING THAT COMMONLY AFFECTS CUSTODY CASES . . .
. . . DRUGS! One of the easiest way for the Court to kill a case, i.e., get it out of its hair where it doesn't have to hear hardly anything, is to have one of the parties on drugs. Judges get paid salaries, not based on the amount of work they do like attorneys, so they aren't dying to hear a trial, let alone your argumentative spill. If parents are fighting over time with a child and somebody uses drugs or has used drugs within at least the last six months, that's an easy way to slant the case in the other parent's directions. Nine times out of ten, if anybody asks for a drug test, especially if they are willing to front the costs, the Court is going to order it, often that very day. A urinalysis won't satisfy any curious person; and a hair follicle will go back 3-6 months and a nail bed test 6-9 months; so if you're a crackhead or doing the meth, or even the pothead who is too demotivated to get the medical marijuana license, you're going to get caught. Not only do such drug tests result in one parent getting more custody than the other, but often the person who fails the drug-test can't even see the child unless they want to arrange and pay for a professional supervisor. It's an uphill battle from there, typically requiring clean results on drug tests randomly requested over several months before a person can get regular times and overnights with their kid again. Of course, I often find that people hang around people like themselves; so if one person has done drugs in the last half-year, then so has the other--so you may want to think twice before raising the issue or one of the parent's parents may be raising the child for at least a while. Oh, and, guess what... Marijuana is still illegal in Oklahoma unless you have a medical marijuana license, so just having weed in your system may prevent you from having regular visitation time with your child; and even if you have the license, if you're showing up in a marijuana-leaf T-shirt, look the stoner part, and confess to doing it regularly while the other parent presents clean-cut, odds are that you won't be walking around with anything close to equal time in most cases. April of 2020 makes 20 years that I have been a practicing attorney. So while this may be opinion, it is based on my experience as a family-law attorney over the past few decades. This is not a political post; I am simply aiming to educate the public of how things go in the Oklahoma family law Court system (while doing a bit of self-promotion as well). Joel K. Mitchell, Attorney-at-Law MITCHELL LAW OFFICE, P.C. 1318 W Main St in Collinsville & 1408 S Denver Ave in Tulsa E-mail or Call (918) 230-5844
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THING THAT COMMONLY AFFECTS CUSTODY CASES . . .
. . . THE BAD DUDE (OR DUDE-ETTE)! In custody cases, it often comes up that there is some person in one parent's world that the other parent doesn't want the child around. It might be creepy uncle Joe who one parent confided to the other molested them when they were a young child. Perhaps it's a boyfriend or girlfriend who occasionally stays overnight at the other parent's house who happens to have a recent criminal history with multiple felonies. Often it is someone who to the child is a grandparent, sibling, step-sibling, or a partner of the parent. And the issue with the person involves matters of a physically abusive, pervy, or druggy behavior, and/or a criminal history. Nine times out of Ten if the parent says I don't want my kid under the same roof with that person, the Court will order it so. Visitation may be conditioned on that person not being there, or it may result in less custody time down the road if the person continues to be around the child. Sometimes relationships or extended families are busted up over this sort of situation. The Judge often views it as "Don't choose your person over this kid, or you won't see your kid much." Right or wrong or valid or not, this is how it goes; so know that if you are in or about to be in Court on a custody situation. And if the concern is valid, it is of course understandable why the other parent doesn't want their child left alone with or even around that person. April of 2020 makes 20 years that I have been a practicing attorney. So while this may be opinion, it is based on my experience as a family-law attorney over the past few decades. This is not a political post; I am simply aiming to educate the public of how things go in the Oklahoma family law Court system (while doing a bit of self-promotion as well). Joel Mitchell, Attorney-at-Law Joel K. Mitchell, Attorney-at-Law MITCHELL LAW OFFICE, P.C. 1318 W Main St in Collinsville & 1408 S Denver Ave in Tulsa E-mail or Call (918) 230-5844 THING THAT COMMONLY AFFECTS CUSTODY CASES . . .
. . . CRUDDY WORK SCHEDULES! Occasionally, I'll get a parent, usually the father, who believes the Court will win him custody because he is the more 'stable' parent because he works a good job and makes great money, like close to six-digits or more, and the mom lives with her parents and doesn't work. The thinking is that she will appear unfit, and he has the better home and can provide the better life and therefore should have primary custody. This is the argument he wants to make. If I consider the argument, it does seem to make some sense. I mean, if one parent is unmotivated and has a background of not working and the whole extended family is like that, then I could see where the kid growing up in the more type-A personality parent's home could lead the kid to be more successful both as a child and an adult--but that's not how it typically gets interpreted by the Courts, especially where the worker-bee parent is working a bunch of overtime, including weekends and nights. To the Court, that non-working parent has all the time in the world to be around their child, where the working parent has a schedule so busy that you can't find time where they will even be around their child. If they work a night-shift and the child is school-aged, there aren't too many hours per day when they can be around their child where either the parent or child is actually awake. The worker-bee parent argue that, "Well, my new spouse is there staying at home or my mom or dad, and it's better for my kid to be around them than with the child's other parent who is a bad influence," but except in the situation where parents are entirely unfit and a guardianship exists, that's not how the Court sees it. The Court will often award less time to a parent who is delegating the raising of the child to a third party and wants each parent to spend quality one-on-one time with his or her child. The Court might even view that hard-working, big-work-ethic parent as choosing their career over their child, just as some people choose drugs or bad people to be around over their children. Anyway, if you've recently separated from the other parent and just took night-shift job because you think it pays well and are about to go into Court thinking you're going to get full custody and the other parent will hardly have any overnights, you might reconsider, reflect on what I've said, and understand how these things usually go. April of 2020 makes 20 years that I have been a practicing attorney. So while this may be opinion, it is based on my experience as a family-law attorney over the past few decades. This is not a political post; I am simply aiming to educate the public of how things go in the Oklahoma family law Court system (while doing a bit of self-promotion as well). Joel K. Mitchell, Attorney-at-Law MITCHELL LAW OFFICE, P.C. 1318 W Main St in Collinsville & 1408 S Denver Ave in Tulsa E-mail or Call (918) 230-5844 In a case where custody is an issue, at least 3/4 of the time, if you already have a Temporary Order in the case, then the final Decree will be almost the same or substantially similar to that Temporary Order. That is a statement I can't back up with statistics; however, it's just something I've seen in my 20 years of experience as a family-law attorney on cases involving children. So know that before agreeing to quite minimal visitation and thinking you're going to back in later and make massive changes. Sometimes things happen and you have strikes against you and you're on such an uneven playing field you have to settle for less than you want. I understand.
Regardless, remember this Oklahoma Statute 43 O.S. § 110.1, which reads: "It is the policy of this state to assure that minor children have frequent and continuing contact with parents who have shown the ability to act in the best interests of their children and to encourage parents to share in the rights and responsibilities of rearing their children after the parents have separated or dissolved their marriage, provided that the parents agree to cooperate and that domestic violence, stalking, or harassing behaviors as defined in Section 109 of this title are not present in the parental relationship. To effectuate this policy, if requested by a parent, the court may provide substantially equal access to the minor children to both parents at a temporary order hearing, unless the court finds that shared parenting would be detrimental to the child." Joel K. Mitchell, Attorney-at-Law MITCHELL LAW OFFICE, P.C. 1318 W Main St in Collinsville & 1408 S Denver Ave in Tulsa E-mail or Call (918) 230-5844 Dear Parent Split up from Other Parent and Going through or about to go through a legal process regarding your child or children together . . . . . .
It does not do you any good to bad mouth the other parent on Facebook and/or other social media. Not only does it get back to and make the other parent upset and angry with you and unwilling to settle, thus dragging on the Court proceedings longer and possibly ensuring a contested hearing--but in that hearing all your trash-talking can be entered into evidence as exhibits, and the Judge can see what a loveable, likeable person you areN'T. Further, if the other parent accuses you of like the booze or the weed a bit too much, or of being a hothead in need of anger management, your posts might support that accusation. In short, be careful what you write. Maybe you feel like you've had a nice release or catharsis and got it out of your system typing those posts, but you're just hurting yourself as well as likely annoying those who stumble across that stuff in their feed [And I'm just speaking to those parents with custody/kid issues going on in Court and am all about free speech to everyone else]. Joel K. Mitchell, Attorney-at-Law MITCHELL LAW OFFICE, P.C. 1318 W Main St in Collinsville & 1408 S Denver Ave in Tulsa E-mail or Call (918) 230-5844 ATTN: PERSON ARGUING ABOUT CUSTODY OR VISITATION IN THE OKLAHOMA COURT SYSTEM NOW OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE:
Oklahoma Statute §43-110.1 addresses "SHARED PARENTING," what most people think joint custody means. You could say that shared parenting is more about joint physical custody whereas the word 'joint' typically focuses on the parents having equal say in decisions about the child's health, school, etc. The shared parenting statute states as follows: It is the policy of this state to assure that minor children have frequent and continuing contact with parents who have shown the ability to act in the best interests of their children and to encourage parents to share in the rights and responsibilities of rearing their children after the parents have separated or dissolved their marriage, provided that the parents agree to cooperate and that domestic violence, stalking, or harassing. To effectuate this policy, if requested by a parent, the court may provide substantially equal access to the minor child to both parents at a temporary order hearing, unless the court finds that shared parenting would be detrimental to the child." For those in Court or about to be in Court arguing for more time with their child than every other weekend, argue the 'substantially equal access' bit. For those adamantly opposed to the other parent having near-equal time, then you had better focus on facts and evidence showing that the child being with that other parent more is 'detrimental' and arguably not in the child's best interests. Have a legal question in this regard or situation you want to discuss? Have a friend going through or about to go through something like this? Please share this with them. Joel K. Mitchell, Attorney-at-Law MITCHELL LAW OFFICE, P.C. 1318 W Main St in Collinsville & 1408 S Denver Ave in Tulsa E-mail or Call (918) 230-5844 ATTN: Fathers of children not born to mothers to whom you did not marry (who many of you, unfortunately and derogatorily refer to as 'baby-momas').
You have NO automatic legal rights to custody/visitation/time to these children until your rights have been established. They don't establish themselves. They need YOU to take initiative to file a civil paternity action in the district Court located in the county where the child resides, something you should do through an attorney. Even if you're already paying child support through DHS, that affords you no automatic right to spend time with your child. Those DHS child support cases only deal with issues of (1) legal paternity, i.e., who's the dad, and (2) child support. They do NOT deal with (a) who gets to claim the child as a dependent on income taxes, (b) child-care and medical expenses relating to the child, unless DHS is involved in paying for some of those childcare or medical services, (c) how often you get to see and be with your child, (d) where the exchange happens, i.e., how you get and give back the child, or (e) any conditions in regard to your or the other parent's time with the child, i.e., certain inappropriate persons the child cannot be around. Hey, if you're getting to see your kid enough that is satisfactory to you, fine. But if you're getting told NO and NO and NO again, or you aren't being allowed to keep your child overnight ever, you need to know that that's not normal stuff; and regardless of the age of the child, such a scenario is typically not the outcome on these kinds of court cases unless the child would be in an unfit or unsafe environment. Now perhaps you would like to do something about it, but you just can't afford to pay to do something about it. For your child, how can you NOT afford to do something about it, especially if you're already paying child support. I've been doing these kinds of cases, called civil paternity cases, along with divorce and other family-law cases for almost 20 years; and even I currently only charge a $1,250 upfront retainer in most cases. And more often than not, the upfront retainer is all you end up spending. Anyhow, you would probably get that money back and more the first time you got to claim your child on income taxes; but, more importantly, you will get to spend quality time and be involved in the raising of your child. So if you're getting blown off and ignored, and you want to be able to see your child; or if you've been relegated to the position of every-other-weekend dad and you would rather have your child with you as much as the other parent, contact me and will see about correcting that situation. I would be happy to answer any questions you have. Trust me....Children can grow up quickly. Be part of their experience. I have both an office on main street in Collinsville as well as an office on the south-side of downtown Tulsa. Joel K. Mitchell, Attorney-at-Law MITCHELL LAW OFFICE, P.C. 1318 W Main St in Collinsville & 1408 S Denver Ave in Tulsa E-mail or Call (918) 230-5844 Many people are still confused as to what "joint custody" means, although Oklahoma statutory amendments to existing law around the millennium (late 1999) clarified its meaning by bringing in shared parenting. I clear up common misconceptions about joint custody below.
"Getting joint custody means I don't have to pay child support, right?" WRONG. That's confusing shared parenting with joint custody, although it might be correct to think of shared parenting as joint physical custody. For the most part, child support is based upon both parents' incomes and how much each parent has the child. Calling it joint custody doesn't affect child support. Having shared parenting in Oklahoma, meaning having the child 121 overnights or more per year, will reduce the amount of child support a parent has in increments every handful more of overnights beyond that number. If you have actual 50/50 equal times and your income is the same, only then does child support come out to be zero unless the Judge (and DHS if they are required to approve the child support computation) will allow for a deviation from the Oklahoma Child Support Guidelines. Still, who carries health insurance affects the cost of child support as well, as does childcare if you happen to incur that expense. There are many factors that go into child support. "Having joint custody means the other parent can't do anything with the kid unless I agree to it, right?" Well, MAYBE. Perhaps so in theory but not in reality--and this is where joint legal custody comes in, which is typically what is referred to when parents are awarded joint custody. Joint legal custody means you are supposed to work together to make important decisions regarding the minor child. What those decisions are in regard to can be spelled out in your joint custody plan, but typically they are major non-emergency medical decisions such as surgeries, where the child goes to school, and what religion and church [Don't ask me what the Judge does on this last one because that would be anybody's guess, and I imagine they would want to steer clear of making any ruling there]. So yes, you are supposed to work together to make decisions, but that's easier said than done. In reality and in my experience, the parent who has the child usually does what they want when they have the child, although that's not how it's necessarily supposed to be. Because joint decisions are so difficult for the Courts to enforce and often require matters of he-said, she-said stuff and, frankly, personal opinions, joint legal custody issues can be difficult for the Courts to enforce. For more information, feel free to hit me up by message, e-mail, phone, or text; and, if you feel like you know someone who might benefit from this situation, please S H A R E this post with them. Joel K. Mitchell, Attorney-at-Law MITCHELL LAW OFFICE, P.C. 1318 W Main St in Collinsville & 1408 S Denver Ave in Tulsa E-mail or Call (918) 230-5844 |
AuthorJoel K. Mitchell, Attorney |